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Original Message
Forum General 
Topic Cousin Marriage 
Author Iftikhar 
Date Created 22/04/2009 15:21:02 
Message Cousin marriage is common in all Muslim countries. It is in accordance with the teaching of the Holy Quran and our Prophet had married his daughter with his broher son. There were no defects in the children. Cousin marriage is thought to generate more stable relationship. Children are born with defects whether it is cousin marriage or not. Among migrant Muslim commnuities the defects are due to many factors. The pressure of moving to a differnt cultural environment and moving from their families, problems of racism and employment are responsible for the defects during pregnancies.The defects are nothing to do with cousin marriages. The hidden agenda is that European societies do not want Muslims to bring their spouses from Muslim countries. A man/woman has the right to marry anybody from anywhere. It is a question of human right and and the right given to Muslims by the Holy Quran and the sayings of the Holy Prophet. 
      
Responses
Topic Re: Cousin Marriage 
Author Marya Khan 
Date Created 15/05/2009 22:36:07 
Message salaamz brother, just have to say very well said, (although I am in two minds about this topic), I believe the discipline plays a large part, having a rishta within families brings families closer together, and nowadays most apni girls are wanting to follow the more westernised culture, lets not cover that up. I used to be one of them. Rishta with cousins etc is a good way of keeping them focused and not letting them forget abut traditions and rasamz from hundreds of years ago! As much as Islam is growing there are some people in the world trying to make things difficult, terrorism/gang culture load of bullsh** tbh, that isn't what ISLAM teaches, that's society itself impacting youths, I could go on all night bout that matter but I'll leave it, for another time maybe! I have learnt Islam is the best place to be, following words of the Qur'an and by llistening to teachings I have found inner peace and changed as a person. Allah Hafiz 
 
 
Topic Re: Cousin Marriage 
Author C Ali 
Date Created 23/02/2010 20:44:09 
Message Sorry to burst your bubble, Iffy but I happen to work for the CPR team in a hospital and after more than 3 years we have all noticed that the MAJORITY of infant cardiac arrests and fatalities are patients whose parents are cousins. Blaming the stresses of moving or living in the West as the cause of birth defects is infantile. Yes, man or a woman has the right to marry whomever they wish but continuous inter-family marriages within the same family over several generations is bound to produce some kind of recessive gene disorder or other kind of birth defect. 
 
 
Topic Re: Cousin Marriage 
Author Maryam McKenna 
Date Created 08/04/2010 20:15:04 
Message what nonsense. What an example to give as defence... Henry VIII- he was a mysogynistic despot. The problem in the Pakistani community is in their hypocricy and mistreatment of women. The royal family example you give is a third cousin- thats not an issue. You are small minded and have missed the point totally. If a people feel oppressed in a community then it is of their own making- a reflection of what is wrong in themselves. I believe strongly that the West/non Muslim can teach us alot but Pakistani's are steeped in arrogance and ego and erroneously believe that they have the monopoly on Islam, Their hypocracy beggars belief. They live in a guise of corner shops, selling alcohol, pornography, gambling matter, oppressing the females in their households whilst outwardly claiming to be pillars of society! What poison!!!!

I saw the Pakistani practices in the society when I was a child growing up (as a non-muslim). Their corner shop, oppressed wife, white woman on the side, selling corruptions to under-aged youth. Now I am a Muslimah for 24 years and i still see it. No wonder the BNP are taking hold. It is time the Pakistani men woke up and smelled the coffee, instead of using their nose to look down at the 'Gori' who keep them in business.
I am a 'Gori' who speaks from experience having been married to different Pakistani men.... their cowardliness and hyprocracy was beyond the pail. Alhamdulillah He swt saved me from them.

If you want to defend a thing, defend the females of the Pakistani communities. They are crystal like any other Muslim female on earth. If you men really understood, if you men really understood, if you men really understood.

 
 
 
Topic Re: Cousin Marriage 
Author Iftikhar 
Date Created 10/04/2010 22:45:40 
Message
Salaam

Thanks for your thought provoking response. I agree with every thing you said. But do not forget that needs and demands of native Muslims are entirely different form those of migrant Muslims. It is difficult for you to understand.

My daughter was married to her first cousin, has two grown up young children
without any defects. My eldest brother was married to his first cousin with
seven children. Four of them are medical doctors and not a single child has
any defects. Million of Muslims through out the world are married to their
first cousins. Some of them have defective children. I know a family with
three defective children. They have no relation with each other. My cousin
married a Hindu girl in canada and they have a girl with some sorts of
defects. Doctor has advised them not to have any more children. My nephew in
Pakistan was married to his first cousin. They have three highly educated
children.

The ground reality is that British society does not want Muslim parents to
get marry their children back home. Man is a product of his culture,
language and faith. Muslim communities live in Britain. Majority of Muslims
are from Pakistan. Their culture and language is differnt from Bengali or
Gujratior Turkish and Arabs. They have only faith in common. They only marry
among their own communities because
of culture and language. This is the ground reality.

In the 70s, when I raised ithe issue of bilingualism and Muslim schools, I
was given the impression that British education system does not believe in
bilingualism. According to varities of studies, a child will suffer if
he/she finds himself cut off from his/her cultural and linguistic roots.
Arabic is our religious language and each and every Muslim must be well
versd in Quranic Arabic. This the main reason why I believe that Pakistani
parents must find marriage partners from Pakistan for their children.
Pakistani children and youths suffer more than others because they find
themselves cut off from the literature and poetry. Majority of them are not
even well versed in Standard English. This is the main rason why majority of
Pakistani children leave schools without goood qualification. English is
their economic language while Urdu is their social and emotional and Arabic
is their religious language.

I am concerned with the education of bilingual Muslim children. I set up the
first Muslim school in London in 1981 and now there are round about 140
Muslim schools and only 11 are state funded. I would like to see each and
every Muslim child to be in a Muslim school.

A study by Bristol University reveals that a high level of racial
segregation in Oldham schools and tension between communities resulted in
recent riots in 2001. The solution is that those schools where Muslim
children are majority, may be designated as Muslim community schools. The
native parents do not want their children to be educated along with migrant
chiildren. As soon as they find that the number of other children are on the
increase, they move their children to those schools where native children
are in majority.

There are hundreds of state schools where Muslim children are in majority.
In my opinion, all such schools may be designated as Muslim community
schools with bilingual Muslim teachers as role models. There is no place for
a non-Muslim child or a teacher in a Muslim school.

Please visit www.londonschoolofislamics.org.uk for more information on
this complicated and complicated issue.


 
 
 
Topic Re: Cousin Marriage 
Author iram ramzan 
Date Created 20/04/2010 12:58:53 
Message I agree one HUNDRED per cent with Maryam
I could not have said it better myself

the example of the royal family is pointless
royal families always marry cousins to keep the bloodline pure
and even then
thats only ROYAL families
most White Brits dont marry cousins

you talk about racist britain
if its so racist
why do u come to this country n bring all ur relatives here if u hate it so much
u talk about racism
n yet pakistani ppl r incredibly racist themselves
not only do they discriminate against non pakistanis
but they discriminate AMONGST other pakistanis themselves
ie someone who is of another caste

its absolutely ridiculous

marrying your cousins does NOT bring your families together
u already share dna and blood, what more do u need?!
furthermore, people are made to marry cousins from "back home" so that their spouses can come to the uk n send money back
thats it
its nothing to do with keeping families together
and when the couple are experiencing problems
it affects the WHOLE family

you talk about racist britain not wanting to bring more pakistanis here
yet
MORE pakistanis come here each year n are given visas n permanent stays
so ur point is baseless

if u want to marry your cousins go ahead n do that
but dont start preaching to evreyone to start marrying pakitsanis only

you pick ONE example n apply it to everything
eg the propher pbuh marrying his daughter to a cousin
the prophet pbuh married women from DIFFERENT tribes, one of whom was JEWISH at the time of marriage!
and yet noone seems to take that into account

the Qur'an clearly states
"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other)."

children from mixed marriages tend to be more tolerant towards other ppl
and our pakistani communities are still discriminating against others based on what caste theyre from
what a joke


and in response to the first comment about "apni" girls following the "western culture", excuse me but what about the men? They go around, messing around with girls until they finally get married from "back home" and even then they still keep girls on the side. The men get away with murder and the women have to suffer

Sort your own communities out first before writing such ridiculous articles 
 
 
Topic Re: Cousin Marriage 
Author Leyla Moon 
Date Created 20/04/2010 13:38:06 
Message 'The defects are nothing to do with cousin marriages'. That's not necessarily true. If within a family there are silent carriers of a disease, when they marry this passes on to the children who become sufferes of the disease. In fact its actually quite common.

As for your theory that cousin marriage is thought to generate a more stable marriage - i really don't see how this can happen. I think it's a selfish practice in order to maintain the patriachal family hierarchy that we see in pakistani families. Speaking as someone who's from a family where cousin marriages have (forcibly) occured in the older generations, I can honestly say it has ruined more lives than I care to count, although of course not the lives of the family memebers who arrange them in the first place.

A poisonous practice and should be done away with.  
 
 
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